“He came up to me and said: You realize we are going to execute you? I said nothing. I was almost certain that he would do it, and I didn’t want to talk to him. He stepped back a little and went on: Say your last wish. I told him I want to see my child.
Perhaps I should say here how it feels to be in such circumstance. I would insist I felt no fear of any kind at that moment. I fell into some kind of indifference, as if not one of my body parts was working.”
These memories were shared by my grandmother in recollections of her life story.
Is it possible that what she’s lived through continues to affect subsequent generations to this day? How does trauma travel through time, finding the exact person whose heart and soul have chosen a “hidden” kind of love, connecting with their beloved grandmother through the anger, pain and suffering she had experienced so many years ago?
Family Constellations therapy is a gift handed down to us by the German therapist Bert Hellinger.
For many years while serving as a missionary in South Africa, he observed relationships in the local Zulu tribe which were based on internal order with special reverence and respect between the generations.
Constellation is the word that describes the interrelationship between individuals in a family system. Celestial constellations are an example of how, if one star were absent, a constellation would not be whole and complete. Each star has its own important place as each person is a part of the great common unity.
In the family system, each of us carries their feelings, makes their choices and follows and defends their convictions as part of the whole, of the larger community, of the family, where they belong and have their place and role. All members in the family system feel the need to belong and be part of the whole, and as energies belong also those who have died, as well as those who have left or have been rejected or excluded for any reason.
There is an unconscious force that guides us along the path of longing and striving to have our designated place in the family system. To belong and be included. This is the aspiration of the family conscience. Its important role is to keep the “constellation” whole by following the laws of love – belonging, order and hierarchy, and balance.
Any disturbance of the equilibrium and balance within the family system impedes the flow of vital energy to and into the “constellation”. The destinies of people from previous generations affect the lives of those who come later. The repressed emotions of people in the family system are present as energies and could be taken up by the next generations without them being able to realize it.
The healing power of the constellations occurs in a phenomenological way. The other name for family constellations is “Movement of the Spirit”. The spirit is the whole, it is in constant creative motion and seeks a solution through us for the whole system by supporting the continuation of life.
Bert Hellinger explains the family constellation process and how during the constellation of the family the client randomly selects representatives for their own self and for significant other family members, arranging them in space relative to each other while remaining connected to their own self. In the process, something comes to light that greatly surprises, and the client comes into contact with knowledge that was not available before. For a long time, Bert Hellinger called this phenomenon “a secret”, and this is the manifestation of the family conscience and soul in the given constellation.
It’s the field of knowledge that forms the basis of constellation work, work at the soul level that goes beyond the visible and magically transforms the hidden family dynamics.